Caregiving Story

My Greater then Great Aunts

My story begins with two of the strongest women I have ever met, my Great Aunts - Aunt Lill and Aunt Annie. They were the eldest children of 8, by my Great Grandma. I use to live with their baby sister (my Grandma,)Elsie. We lived 3 houses from each other with a total of 17 people including children. They were beautiful, strong women with very thick long hair. Aunt Annie was tall, slim, with dark brown skin and wore long silver braids and Aunt Lill was short, petite with light skin and kept her brown/silver hair in curls. They would always fuss over me when I would visit them, but they would end the bickering when I smiled. I guess they wondered why I smiled? I just thought they were so cute at their age to still have that sisterly love all sisters have. They worked alot of years and even married but neither ever had children of their own. My Grandma, however, had 8 children(4 boys followed by 4 girls).

My mom was the baby of the 8. They wanted my grandma to let them raise my Mom, figuring they had some time to spare, but she refused them.

They also worked on my Mom to give one of us to them to raise, since there were 4 of us kids. She didn't, but allowed me and my siblings to visit with them everyday. As they got older, my Aunt Annie developed Diabetes, which eventually led to her loosing both her legs. Then my Aunt Lill had a nasty fall and hit her head so hard she required a metal plate and began having seizures shortly after. They owned their modest home in the Charles Village Community and everybody in the community knew them well. They took me to church with them every Sunday - Oak Street Baptist on Howard Street and the original Building is still there. Their illnesses lead to a lot of depression for them both and their want for independence led them to attempt taking care of each other rather then moving into a nursing home. This did not work too long for them but, they still refused to be taken from their home. Eventually, one had a medical bed in the living room, where they use to entertain their bible groups and the other had a bed in the dinning room, where they would have dinners for our large family. As time passed all of the adults and their children moved from Grandma Elsie's house and so did my Mom. My Grandma Elsie moved on to Montford Avenue in a home her late husband had left to her. She soon passed when I was 10-years-old, after loosing her youngest son who drowned while out fishing. She died of cancer. Both of my Aunts' conditions soon got worse after their baby sister's death. I stayed over with them a lot and my older sister and I took turns doing shifts so they would never be alone.

I had to feed them and bath them and learn how to handle seizures and how to lift Aunt Annie, who now was very heavy. They would look at me with such saddened eyes and I knew then, at 14, what that look was all about. They had worked so hard to stay strong and independent and now would have to rely on someone to prepare their meals, wash and cloth them, give them medications, clean their home they loved so much, take them places they once could drive themselves. All the simple things they did with ease,they could no longer do. I understood what I had to do without them uttering a word. I let them do as much as they could for themselves no matter how long it took them or how small of a task it was. They still fussed over whether Aunt Annie could eat Raisin Bran or fruit cups every morning for breakfast. But, I would give her both when Aunt Lill would look away and Aunt Annie, looking like a child getting caught in the cookie jar, (still funny to me) loved it. Aunt Annie passed away first when, I was 16. Aunt Lil went into a deeper depression and would call me Annie alot. I would tell her that it's only me and she would say "I miss Annie so much" and then she would cry. She cried a lot and I would cry with her and say "I miss her too, Aunt Lill". Aunt Lill passed away right before my 18th birthday. I miss them so much and taking care of them set the path for my life. Their stories of their childhood, their unconditional love for each other and how strong they stayed until their last breath. I believe that they are together still fussing over cereal and fruit with God as their referee and I like to beleive there is one Angel hanging by their side giving them a little smile to remind them of me and how much they were adored. So although I may only use 8 verifiable years of caregiving, as you can see, I was a very busy little lady.

Remembered by Cheryl Graham